Yesterday, I spent an hour in Walmart because I was unable to tear myself away from the aisle with the Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes. And I couldn’t help but think about how adulthood has been a complete circle for me. From sneaking extra dessert into my elementary lunchbox when my mom wasn’t looking to now standing in the junk food aisle after filing my income tax for the first time as a single independent adult, rationalizing the calories in my head. Because this is why children wish to grow up so quickly, right? To be able to decide when they can have extra dessert.
This self-autonomy thing is tricky business. All my life, my parents’ default answer was ‘No’ whenever I asked them for anything. I hated the word ‘No’. But when you are 24 years old, employed, and living on your own–you find out very quickly how to overuse ‘Yes’ and you have to learn to be frenemies with ‘No’. That means parenting your own damn self–and I’ve found out that I am rather a stubborn child.
No, I did not leave with any cream-filled pastry last night. Instead, I bagged two cans of Pringles, a bag of Kettle Cooked potato chips, and a box of chocolate.
They did not taste nearly as satisfying as how I imagined they would.
C’est la vie.
That’s another thing about being an adult. Being able to handle getting let down by the decisions you make. There’s nothing more humbling than accepting you’ve fucked up for no one’s fault but your own. For example, that box of chocolate I bought? I left it in my car at work today and by lunch time the chocolate was ready to be poured like hot fudge over a sundae. Except, I didn’t have a sundae.
But my favorite thing about what I’m doing with my life right now? Helping little girls achieve their dreams by buying their Girl Scout cookies. Destiny fulfilled.